The most frequent question people I meet asked me is “How tall are you?” The answer to this but most important thinking about why they ask me that question helped me cope with an anxiety issue.

I am 6’4’’. With an imperial system you lose granularity. I prefer to say I am 194 cm or one ninety four as we say colloquially in Spanish, uno noventa y cuatro. “Why are you so tall?” people ask me looking up. We all know the answer. It is mostly genetics (around 80% last time I checked) but also circumstances such as nutrition. I am a milk junky and probably the hormones there really triggered my full size. Who knows? The thing is I get asked this question so much that it really makes me wonder why.

I get it. It is curious to see someone big. I ‘ve myself have experienced that sensation of being with basketball-tall persons and I think to myself What a freak!.. but I do it with respect (haha) because I know this is how people see me. I am just in awe.

Height is a matter of context. I was born and raised in Mexico City where the average height is around 160 cm. In Peru, there are stories about ancient giants that lived in the mountains. Archaeologists found what could be the remains of this almost mythological people. The study found the average height to be 175cm, not that tall but the height of Moche people was about 148 centimetres so context is important.

When I traveled to the Netherlands, that was a different story. I felt average, finally! This is how it feels to be normal. The average height in this place is 180.8, 6 ft. Northern Europe really has GIANTS! So nearly no one asked me that question. Probably cheese is the culprit. They really dig cheese. I get the feeling they secretly wanted to ask me “Why are you so tall.. for a brown-skin person?” But that is a totally different story for later.

The real question I want people to ask me is “Do you like being that tall?”

People dream of having different sizes. I do as well. I imagine being as tall as an ant or being taller to play in the NBA next to Stephen Curry. But probably I won’t be able to get out of the bed in the first case, literally, and Stephen will beat my ass off. I won’t be able to stop his three-point f shots even if they were 3 meters tall. He is just amazing.

“Do I enjoy being tall?”” Yeap. I love being tall. Probably it adds points to my overall attractiveness, at least my wife thinks I am handsome and that is all that matters to me at this point in life. But, coming back to height. Being tall is f***ing hard! Being the top 1% percentile sounds cool but nothing is designed for you. Comfortable car seats, forget about it. Constant risk of hitting your head with something? Super high! Especially in the street markets in Mexico City! Is an extreme activity. I’ve lost so many neurons this way. And you grow so fast that you are always clumsy. That was what I was told, as a kid. I am fixed in height now and the lack of coordination is still here. So being tall is nice but it doesn’t come for free. Nothing in life does. Being at the top has its own challenges.

When I ask people the same question back, sometimes they get offended! Like why!? I am just trying to be reciprocal. I also want to know how the weather is down there. But joking aside. I’ve learned not to ask. I am just getting very good at calculating. Sometimes I just have to come close to them without them noticing. I should get a shirt with a ruler on it. Yeap! You can get into the roller coaster if you reach my belly.

This gets me to the second point. No one has asked me: What is your favorite height? I’ve been through ALL of them. From 30 cm to 194 cm. I’ve covered some good ground. I think I can be considered an expert in vertical dimension at this point. And let me tell you one thing. All of them are beautiful. You have an awesome height! Be happy with it, you look amazing!. The lesson I take away from other parts of life where we think, Ohh I wish I were more intelligent, or I had more power or money, or prettier, etc. Intelligence is a biggy for me, I want to be smarter and wiser but you know what? I am ok where I am right now, of course I want to keep improving.

The analogy breaks at some point, height CAN be improved with good posture but intelligence has a much wider range of growth. I challenge you to think why we are so inclined to ask, “Why are you so _?” “How did you get there? It could help us as a guide but it is going to be more useful making peace with reality. Accept where we are and how we are. It did for me. Your maximum might some way be determined, and is ok. We need to deal with that fact

I bet if we ask Einstein or Socrates what is the level of intelligence and wisdom we should have. They’ll tell us we are already where we are supposed to be. Take care of you and you will reach further. This is true for how tall you are. Keep a healthy diet, exercise and your posture ergo your height will improve. Same with mental health and brain functionality.

Keep it healthy and enjoy the process of being. Of course you can go to an extreme and take surgery to be taller but usually once we reach a new level we realize that happiness was not there in what we don’t have but in our path to get there. Surgery sounds too painful.

So enjoy your height.That is my piece of advice. I know you have great stature. Trust me, most likely I’ve been there. And know that you are taller than me in many other ways. Teach me, teach others, let me know how the weather is where you are. Because I might not be able to grow into what you are but I would for sure love to hear it, fantasize about it and learn from it.

Being tall has taught me that there are many things outside of my control. Things sometimes just are. I still do whatever I can to get better. In those areas where sometimes I feel small, I am ok with it. I try to give myself love and make peace with it. I step back and ask why I want to be different. If I like the answer I go and do something, for the fun of it. Knowing that I might not move that much I still do it for me and to share the journey with others.

So tell me, how tall are you? And if I ask you “Do you love your height?” I hope you answer YES